04/23/2018 A Voice From the Gallery


“Never pick a fight with someone who has bull-dogged determination, a video camera and a blog with followers”

Inspired by the quote (“Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel” Sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, sometimes called Greener’s law but has been attributed to Congressman Charles Brownson, Indiana (R)  ca 1964)

In answer to your question Major Rubber Ducky and boys:

2014 Revised Municipal Ordinances of the City of Alcester, South Dakota

Title 5-Offenses

Chapter 5.01-Offenses Against Public Welfare

         sub sect. 5.0103,

             (B) Makes unreasonable noise;

             (C) Operates amplified sound equipment at an unreasonable high volume.


Chapter 5.04 – Minors

           5.0401-Imposed.  It shall be unlawful for any minor under the age of seventeen years to be on or present upon any streets, avenue, alleys, parks, playgrounds or other public grounds or place of amusements or entertainment, or places of business or vacant lots in the City before 6:00 a.m. or after 11:00 p.m. or any days of the week, unless minor is accompanied by his parent, guardian or other adult person having the care or custody of such minor.

         5.0402-Parents and Guardians not to Permit Violations.  It shall be unlawful for any parent, guardian or other person having the legal care or custody of any minor under seventeen years of age to allow or permit such minor, while in such legal care, custody or control, to go or be in or upon any of the places and during the hours set forth in Section 5.0401.

There was a convention in my driveway Friday afternoon, and just everybody was there!  There was the driver of a white extended cab truck, the driver of a Suburban and the driver of a red pick-up all eager to share a piece of their mind with little ol’ me with two of them making hysterical utterances to the effect, “…we are tired of you and your camera…just move away…leave…we have had it with you…b****”  In explanation, they were perturbed I had taken pictures of their vehicles.  This photo shoot was the result of a pattern of student  driving behaviors exhibited on Lincoln Drive lately.  As I explained at length to these young men, the purpose of the photos was for exclusion purposes.


I thanked them for the information they shared as to the identity of the culprit.  At which point Major Jock Ego rolled up in his “black sedan” and let me tell you he was no friendly stranger.  Inserting himself into the discussion by walking onto my property without invitation, running his mouth the whole distance from the street to where we were talking.

Major Jock Ego attempted to school me on what I could and could not do with the my photos and videos, dispensing his quasi legal opinions like condoms in a 1950’s gas station bathroom on prom night.  I told him his opinion was not relevant to the incident of the day and at that point in time he was not a party to the action.  Young Major Jock Ego continued to insert himself into the situation which had nothing to do with him, by relieving his constipated cerebral colon with an expletive laden, diarrheal diatribe.  He closed with the threat he and his friends were going to continue their “pattern of behavior” (my term not his) and my neighbors would be angry with me for exposing them to Major Jock Ego’s “thuggery” (again my term).  When I had no reaction, young Major Jock Ego finished up with a nanner-nanner type response of, “I’m telling my Dad on you!”  I told him be my guest!  The convention moved to another location off my property.

About 30-40 minutes later, here come da convoy with the Major Rubber Ducky in the lead with his red pick-up, camper shell in the box and sporting ‘speschal’ fire department plates on the bumper.  These ol’ boys rolled down my street and parked at the curb.  Major Rubber Duck bailed out of the cab with Flo Nightin’gown poppin’ out the passenger door like a Genie out-of-a-gin-bottle, running her mouth like a trollop on the dock-of-the-bay and Major Jock Ego trippin’ over himself a-tryin’ to keep up behind mommy’s skirts!  They were joined by Larry, Curly, Mo and Mikey.  Mikey is what I would characterize as a ‘Cartoon Cling-on” to the group with his gun-metal grey Sheep and dark ‘shades’.

After 15 minutes of opening remarks by Major Rubber Ducky and his convoy, I came to the conclusion that a little blue-ing might help ease Major Rubber Ducky’s high blood pressure and keep the street clean of the male bovine fecal run-off emanating from Mama Gutterlip.  I called 911.

Poor Police Chief Doty hung his head when he came upon Major Rubber Ducky, his driveway dilettantes and me.  Chief Doty spoke to Major Rubber Ducky, the dilettantes, Major Jock Ego and Flo Nightin’gown in the street behind the bushes.  I walked down my yard and into the street behind the grey hemi sheep to get the license number, boy howdy did that upset lil Mikey.  Once I had the plate number, I headed back to my driveway where I stood waiting to speak to Chief Doty.

Chief Doty came for my account of the afternoon’s activities and after hearing my account he headed back to talk to Major Rubber Ducky.  Major Rubber Ducky wanted to speak with Chief Doty and myself to work something out which worked right up until Major Rubber Ducky opened his mouth and said, “…If you shut down your blog, I (Major Rubber Ducky) will ‘talk’ to the boys.”

So Major Rubber Ducky are you the leader of the pack, have you sir Rubber Ducky been encouraging these boys in their bad behavior?  

My answer to shutting down my blog was an emphatic ‘No”.  A few more exchanges between Major Rubber Ducky, Chief Doty and myself which were interrupted by the strident cacophony of Flo Nightin’gown and Major Jock Ego with all the regularity of a metronome set to 6/8 time.

Major Rubber Ducky asked what I would do, “…if he parked a vehicle in the street in front of my house… if he parked several vehicles in the street in front of my house?…” I told Major Rubber Ducky, “it is a public street!”  Then Major Jock Ego came strolling up to us and made the statement in front of Chief Doty, “If you (me) do not take down your blog… you (me) can expect more…” meaning a continuation of the pattern of behavior “some” high school boys had recently been dealing out on Lincoln Drive.

I want to emphasize it is only a handful of students behaving in this manner.  I would caution these students.  If you exhibit this behavior on school time, you could be thrown off the team and/or expelled.  If you are on your own time, you could be charged depending on what you do with a misdemeanor, a serious misdemeanor or as much as a felony.  And contrary to your comment Major Jock Ego, Police Chief Chris Doty and Officer Dylan Nelson should be referred to as such and not as Chris and Dylan.  You Major Jock Ego are NOT their familiar!  Also your confidence in your statement that Chris and Dylan won’t do anything to you if you break the law, is foolhardy!